Kept Boy by Robert Rodi

There is a reason why I don't read gay literature, It's the same reason I don't watch gay cinema or "Queer as Folk". The message is all the same: You can only find true love, happiness and sex, if you're young, extremely good-looking and have a great body. If you are older (i.e., over 35), you are to be pitied. The only way you will get someone to share your life is with money and LOTS of it. But Robert Rodi's "Kept Boy" looked like it might be different, so I decided give it the benefit of the doubt. I was SO wrong.

The only twist in this story is that the pretty boys start out as rivals, vying for the attentions (i.e., money, money, and money) of a wealthy, over-fifty, theatrical producer Farleigh Nock in Chicago. Dennis is his 'kept boy'. When Nock hires a new pool boy, the much younger Jasper, Dennis goes on a narcissistic warpath spending copious amounts of Nock's cash to keep his good standing.

Rodi makes it very clear that the only reason the novel's sugar-daddy is being fought over by two young men is because he is loaded. Otherwise, Rodi's novel would have been placed into a different universe far more fanciful than anything Gene Roddenberry, Isaac Asimov or Ray Bradbury could have dreamed of. I lived most of my adult life in Dallas, the most superficial city in the most superficial state, and came out there in 1991. I have seen first hand how wealth can cover many flaws but when it comes to age, there is only so much happiness that money can buy.

In the final pages, Dennis realizes that his love for Farleigh is only "companionly" and "pitying". Dennis and Jasper finally fall in love with each other. When they break the news to Farleigh, he expresses his happiness for them, then promptly drops dead. Dennis is the sole heir of Farliegh's vast wealth. As SNL's Church Lady would say, "How conv-E-nient!"

The book does have its funny moments, though. For example, the houseboy Christos is a former lover of Farleigh and, although a very reminiscent of the houseboy from "La Cage aux Folles" or "The Bird Cage", delivers some of the best lines in the book. Another instance, a trip to visit a 100 year-old grandmother ends in hysterical violence. The old woman herself is hilarious. Other than this, humor comes only in the form of snarky, bitchy comments.

The point of Rodi's book is if you're young and beautiful, find yourself a much older sugar-daddy and use your sexiness to worm your way into his bed and his will. You won't have to endure it long, because if your sugar-daddy has any sense, he will die before he gets any older and leave you all of his money.